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Day 001 - Hopefully, This Is Not An Omen

Well, so far 2013 stinks. I would like to send this year back and get a refund on my life, please. I have started the new year sick. Horrible sore throat that got progressively worse throughout the day culminating into being totally clogged in time for bed and stomach cramps.

We are not amused. Not amused at all.


Day 365 - A Year in Review - Version 5.0

Well... Here we are yet again. As the year draws to a close, I look back at what I had written at the end of 2011.

So to sum up. 2011 - I'm glad to see the back of you! Bring it on 2012!

Clearly, I shouldn't have been so forceful.

2012 has been... interesting... as the old curse goes. In some ways it was better... I was able to force the system's hand and get mom into a care facility. In some ways it was worse... my rent got totally screwed up due to several bounced cheques and I now have to hand deliver each month's rent to the office which makes it a huge hassle.

So... We'll have to see how 2013 goes.

I've picked up a little extra work. Hopefully it'll become permanent. I haven't dropped dead, which is quite surprising since I haven't been able to afford any of my meds for about seven months now. I haven't gained any weight this year, probably because I can't usually afford food.

On the down side, I'm still no further ahead with ma's thing. I've decided that I'm going to have to syphon off some of my own practically non existant cash and just pay for a lawyer. I've had no luck with any of the free services I've been put in touch with. And I'll have to look into ways to drum up some more clients. unless the extra work becomes full time.

So here's to the end of 2012 and the front of 2013. See you all next year.

Day 240 - The End and the Beginning

So we were trying again with Mom's case worker. Apparently, they can do what is called an emergency assessment which allows them to place people somewhere, on a continuing temporary basis until more permanent facilities can be found. So, that is what my friend who is helping me had tried to arrange for today.

The SagaCollapse )


Day 190 - Health Again

Today I read in the news paper that a well loved bike area, where kids, meaning teenagers, can go and ride their bikes and do all sorts of bikey shenanigans will be demolished to make way for a condo development.


While everyone laments of childhood obesity, we get this. Where is the sense in taking away one of the few green areas left? Is this what we want? That kids as well as adults have to join a gym to get exercise because there is not one inch of space left that is not glass and cement?

Everyone is working at loggerheads when we should be working together.

I would say that I don't understand the rationale behind this. But you and I both know the rationale is money.


Day 190 - Health and Foreign Aid

But what do these two things have in common, you say? Perhaps nothing. It's only that I started thinking about it today as the Weekend News Report had a looping set of news, one of which was Canada giving 227 million dollars to Afghanistan. Now the money is for good things. Like educating women.

Not enough funding! Can't repair the hospitals! Can't hire nurses! We don't have the funding. This is an ongoing lament in the health care industry. And health care seems to be one of the first places hit by cut backs when whomever happens to be in power decides we need to cut spending. And governments will often say, sorry there's no money in the budget for whatever.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.

It's grand that we want to help other countries but I couldn't help thinking... It'd be nice if Canada spent that money on its own citizens. If there's no money to feed, clothe and house our own people, how come we can find money to feed, clothe and house someone else's.

In case you're thinking this is a view that has been brought on by the current events in my life, let me assure you that it is not. I've ALWAYS found it to be extremely weird to donate millions of dollars to other citizens while ignoring our own. In my head, a country lives and breathes as a result of its people. It seems mind boggling to me that a country's first priority would not be to its own.


So the case worker came today. And what a waste of an hour that was. She spent the whole time talking to me. I kept trying to refer her back to my mom. IE Well, she's STANDING RIGHT THERE, WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER???? kinda thing.. but sadly no.

I don't understand how they train these people.

On the plus side, I didn't have to wait for the notices of assessment, since all they're really interested in is the numbers. So I because I had a paper copy of the tax that was filed, I was able to give her my mom's income and how much tax she owed and then she calculated the day rate they'd charge my mom to send some one out.

Forty three dollars. Rounded up of course.

So now I just have to see if I can afford a couple of days a month.

She also left a phamphlet for adult day care which I'm supposed to discuss with ma and then let her know if she's interested. I did try to talk to ma about it after she'd left but unfortunately, in addition to describing their services, they had JOLLY THINGS like we serve: the FRAIL elderly, the DISABLED adult, and the COGNITIVELY IMPAIRED adult, so ma is all what is this SHIT! This doesnt even APPLY TO ME! HMPH! I'm left with trying to get her to understand that no, you're not frail or disable but YES, YOU ARE COGNITIVELY IMPAIRED OMG!

A barrel of fun was had by all.

I did notice however, that ma's signature was pretty good, so I think I'm going to try and get her to sign some checks and then see if one of them will go through the bank. And if so, I'll use them to pay off her outstanding utility bills and maybe get some money that way.

Day 154 - So, Tell Me How You REALLY Feel

So, today one of mom's friends came over with some money and I took the opportunity to go shopping without mom. Bought enough easily made food items to hopefully last for a couple of weeks until the next lot of money comes in. Came home and made something for mom to eat and a salad for myself and sat down with mom and the friend.

After we'd eaten, I got up to get some of the dessert - ambrosia salad - that I had bought for mom because I know she likes sweet things. As I was working in the kitchen, mom's friend started to sort of ask her questions. We'd decided to do this because I could never get her to tell me what's going on in her head.

One of the questions her friend asked her was does she think I'm trust worthy. She wouldn't answer the question. She said things like - oh well, that's not important. Or that doesn't matter. So after a little more talking, her friend then asked her if I was taking good care of her. With no hesitation, my mother said: When it's convenient for her.

I could tell how shocked her friend was because she kinda fumbled and then was all.. but... she makes you food and takes you places doesn't she? Makes sure you're all right? And again my mother replied: When it's convenient for her.

So there you have it. Apparently, I should be holding her hand 24/7. Clearly the fact that I actually have to WORK to provide stuff for her has become this HUGE thing in her mind. Which, really, if she'd signed the damn power of attorney like she was supposed to, I wouldn't have to work so damn much to pay for things and then I COULD spend time with her.

So, when the lady finally left, I just cleaned up the few dishes and told her I was going to bed. And then I barred my door so she couldn't get in to bother me every five minutes like she normally does. I'm pretty much sitting in the dark crying as I write this because I've gone into debt and worn myself ragged looking after her and that's the thanks I get.

Tomorrow I'm going to see if the lady that lives close to us can take her for the whole day. I can't even look at her right now without wanting to punch her in the face.


Day 152 - Well, That Seems to be That

So. Got a phone call from the notary today. The family doctor is absolutely refusing to do the letter for ma, which I'm not surprised about because he didn't want to do it in the first place. This puts a wrench in the committeeship thing if I decide to go that route because you need TWO doctors letters.

Tomorrow I'll call the specialist and see if he'd be willing to write either letter. If he says no, I guess I'll have to phone the lawyer I was talking to find out if it has to be doctors that have on going familiarity with mom or if it can be any doctors that specialize in the field. Though, how I'll get that going I don't know as it seems you can only get into see doctors on the referrals from other doctors.

The family doctor is also refusing to write a letter for ME to say that I'm not in good enough health to look after mom. As if it has to go to committeeship, I really don't want to be involved. It's more time and work than I would be able to handle. Apparently the ability to carry on against all odds is a character flaw. The doctor can't in good conscience write a letter saying that it would be a drain on my health to look after ma, as I've been looking after her for the last thirteen months.

So that narrows the options down to how accomodating the bank feels like being and how long immirgration will contine to take before they send out her citizenship card. And I'm not even sure about the last because I get the feeling from this bank that even if she did go there with proper id, they may still refuse to deal with her on account of her looniness.

Day 131 - Well, Today was Totally Useless

First, ma and I went to the doctor. After getting all the health things out of the way, when we get down to the issue of the letter he's supposed to write, he was all is there a form to fill out???

I'm like.. uh. no. you said you knew how to do this??

So then he turns to mom and says: Okay, Rosalie - a power of attorney is piece of paper that will let Judith help you with financial and legal matters. Do you understand and is that okay?

And mom is all.. well that sounds like a good idea for down the road. And the doctor is all.. no, it's a good idea for right NOW. Is that okay? And my mom is all well i don't know about these things and rambles all around the bush about how it's a good idea for the future. Finally the doctor just gave up and scribbled on the pad that I came for a power of attorney. So fat lot of good that's going to do us.

So then we went to the notary and she did the same thing to the notary. The woman tried every combination of words.. and all my mom would say was oh that sounds like a good idea for down the road. And then it turns out that SHE needs id anyway, so even if she'd said yes it would have been a no go.

Anyway, she got us to sign the papers. But she can't make them official until we get ma to say yes its okay for me to look after her finances and show id. So she said to set up another appointment when the id comes in and we'll try again then. In the meantime she's going to talk to the doctor and see if she can get him to write up something a little more formal. I don't know why the hell she didn't do that in the first place.

So, I'm still no further ahead than I was. Tomorrow I'm going to try call ma's bank and see if I can talk to the branch manager again. There's got to be a way that they can ID her on a visual basis and let her do her banking that way.


Day 129 - My Mother is Hilarious

After a run in with the same irate neighbour that she always manages to bother when she goes wandering without me, I taped a note that said she is not to out without me to the underside of the table in front of her couch - it has a glass top. After reading the note several times and trying to take it off, which she couldn't because she couldn't figure out that it's UNDER the table, she put a pile of books on top of it so that she doesn't have to look at it.


Clearly the DEVIOUS part of her brain is not yet scrambled.